As Valentine's Day draws near, why not take some much needed time to acknowledge and nurture yourself? For many of us, we reflect back on our marriages and realize we have let ourselves become defined by the relationship, as your spouses' husband, wife, partner. Society tends to encourage this thinking. As I step out into the world now as a single…this couple-oriented world isn't quite sure what to make of me. No wonder we go through a quasi-identity crisis as we let go of our old relationship.
Now is the perfect time to recognize who you are in your own right. You no longer have to be defined by someone else's idea of who your supposed to be. Honor yourself and the wonderful person you are. Get to know YOU again. What do you like? What makes you feel whole and alive?
I came across this very special poem years ago, when I was still contemplating if I should remain in or end my relationship. As I read the words, it opened me up to the possibility that I was so much more than what the constraints of my marriage said I was. Hopefully these words will open you up to the possibility of your life as well.
Love after Love
by Derek Walcott
The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread.
Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.